Fellowship Fraud.

Fellowship (noun) – friendly association with people who share one’s interests.

Within the Christian community fellowship is a term we hear often, it is encouraged to create a strong fellowship with those within your Church. Christians believe God created us to work together, serve together and encourage each other in our walk of life. Isn’t that a wonderful way of thinking ? Its heart warming, who wouldn’t want to experience that kind of fellowship …. I wouldn’t, not again.

I love the idea of it, but experiencing it in my Church was soul destroying. My experience of it was like something from the playground … ‘You can play with us as long as you do as we say and not be different in any way.’ Once they realized I was ‘different’ (by their standards) they began to exclude me. They stood back and watched me feel isolated and the scary part is some of them enjoyed it. Some of them couldn’t hold back the nasty looks and smug smiles as I made my way to sit alone during service but then there was some that I could see wanted to reach out to me but didn’t for fear of the same treatment. I was build up by these people only to be tore down, quicker.

Our Heavenly Father said ‘clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.’ (Colossians 3) These were His words and those who claim to live for Him only follow His word when it suits them. I’m not angry with these people, I pray for them daily that they will see what they have done to me and I’m sure to others before me. I won’t change who I am, I thought about putting on an act for them many times and I’m sure I have done so but God loves me despite me so why would I try be anything else. When will the people who attend my Church realize THEY are the reason so many avoid Churches, Churches are not only for these so called ‘Saints’ they are for everyone. Jesus never turned anyone away, so why do those who want to represent his Word do so ?

Before they knew my sexuality these people rallied around me and supported me in so  many ways and I will always be thankful but now they treat me like a virus, someone to avoid. STAY AWAY FROM HER SHE’LL TURN YOU GAY !!! I laughed typing that but that’s honestly how it feels at times, like I’m carrying a big neon sign saying ‘AVOID THE GAY’ on my back. Hey, maybe I should, might start a new trend.

We are taught in the Bible not to judge and the most judgemental place I have ever been is in my Church, God’s house. I’m praying someday that will change, join me in these prayers, that all Churches will be more welcoming … That all Churches will say ‘come on in, no perfect people allowed’.